Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
