why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
