I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
