Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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