hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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