bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I believe in your delicious
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
