That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
where does the pee come out of this thing
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
