i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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