yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
