Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize