Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
