Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
