this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
