My nipple is on Facebook.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
