if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
