We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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