And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
