Just took my morning after pill in the library
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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