We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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