My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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