I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
