I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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