I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
