belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
