some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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