I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
