its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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