So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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