yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
