420 ftw
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize