took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I smell like Dick and happiness
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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