How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
