You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
