NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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