Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Hippo gnu deer
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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