I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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