I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
