Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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