Yo dont text me then not text me
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think I won the penis lottery.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
