dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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