a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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