I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
