my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
