He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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