Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
