Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
