i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
