does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
