I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I want to have your abortion
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
