They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
