My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You're like the curious george of whores
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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