he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
