brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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