he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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