Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
being pregnant is like rehab
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
