He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
