How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
