I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I've blown a few things in my day
false alarm. still invincible.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
