just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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